It’s been a while….

Apologies for not writing for quite a while…. life’s just gotten in the way! I rarely go on my laptop these days, and when I do it’s usually brief to pay a bill or something boring like that! But, here I am tonight, with some time on my hands, so figured I’d catch up!

When I last wrote, I was weaning off the Quetiapine to stop completely. I’m now 1 month, 1 week and 4 days medication free!! The first week or so was, quite simply, fucking awful! The withdrawals were horrible. I felt so unwell physically, I often contemplated taking the damn meds again just to stop that feeling. But, I persevered and rode out the storm. I know that I made the right decision, 100%. I’m doing really well without them, and functioning as a human being for the first time in months! No more extreme exhaustion or other rubbish side effects. Yes, I’m tired still most days, but that’s normal for a mummy! My mood is 99% stable, I do have the odd rocky moment or lose my cool sometimes, but that’s also a normal thing for anyone! I’m really proud of myself for going med free.

I saw my psychiatrist on Monday this week, for the first time since coming off the medication. I did have appointments booked prior to that, but for one reason or another I had to cancel them. But, she was really happy with how I’m doing and the fact that I’m stable, and she’s now discharged me from outpatient care. So no more appointments with her for a while, yay! I do however have to see my CPN again, to put together a wellness plan for going forward, but that’s no big deal, and will be useful in the long run. So I’m really happy with that too!

In other news…. my baby girl is still growing up way too quickly haha. She’s now 10 and a half months (pretty much), and changing and developing daily. She’s crawling everywhere, and pulling herself up on literally everything that she can. We’ve also made the move from her bedside crib, to her big girls cot, in her own room! I’m still finding it tough not having her beside me at night, but she’s doing really well. It’ll be 2 weeks this Sunday, and I’m really proud of her. She’s taken it in her stride, as she does with everything, and seems to be loving it. We’ve had the odd rough night, with lots of wake ups, but she did that even beside me. We’re 10 days away from the end of leap 7, and for the most part, it’s been pretty rough (as all leaps have been so far!). I think that’s had a lot to do with the bad sleeping to be honest, as that’s always been the biggest factor during leaps! But we’re getting there I think, and have some sort of routine coming back now. She’ll go down to bed between 7.30pm and 8pm, and generally sleep until around 11-11.30pm, when she’ll have another bottle and some cuddles, and then go back down by around midnight. Most nights she’ll then sleep through until 6-6.30am, sometimes then just need her dummy giving back and she’ll go back off until around 8am, or some days she’ll want to be up by 7am. During the day she has 1 long nap, from around 1.30pm until 4pm. Some days she only has an hour or so though, but we’re just going with the flow, and she has what she needs (I hope!). I can’t believe how fast her 1st birthday is approaching though, it makes me so emotional! It only feels like yesterday that she was born to be honest. But, that said, I love seeing her grow and develop, and she’s such a little character now. Has the most adorable smile and infectious laugh, and can be very cheeky at times! I love her to the moon and back, and I feel so incredibly lucky that she’s mine!

I’ve now got my car back too, as hubby’s is now fixed. Cost just shy of £500 to do so, but it’s done! It’s great to have my independence back, and be able to go visit my mum as and when I feel like it! It was a bit daunting that first drive though, as it had been a while, but my confidence is slowly increasing, and it’ll be fine the more I do it. Was also useful the other day to go to my psych appointment as it was raining haha!

I think, that just about catches me up, so I shall leave it there for now. I will endeavour to write more often, but being a mummy takes up a lot of my time haha! Wouldn’t change it for the world though, I love it. TTFN!

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