Totes Emosh.

Feeling like a complete emotional wreck today; my little girl has pretty much mastered crawling, and sat up on her own for the first time too. It’s all going too fast 😥 I miss my tiny newborn! Especially the sleepy cuddles. I miss those the most. I just want to slow down time just a little bit. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so so proud of her as well, she’s developing so well and I love that, but all too quickly for my liking! It makes me feel really broody as well for another one. I’d love to give her a little brother or sister. A friend of mine announced she was pregnant with her second today, and as much as I was pleased for her, I was a bit jealous too.

At the moment though, having a second is completely out of the equation. We struggle financially with just the one, so having another would be stupid in that respect. But I don’t want to rule it out for a couple of years down the line maybe. I loved (mostly) being pregnant, feeling those first flutters, then kicks and wiggles. Hearing the heartbeat and going for scans. I loved all of that. Admittedly there was a lot of stressful times too, with the episodes of RFM (reduced fetal movement) especially, but it was all so worth it to hold my baby in my arms for the very first time. I even enjoyed giving birth, despite the epic levels of pain! Still to this day I can’t believe I did it all without pain relief! And I’d do it all again in a heartbeat. I know my body is capable of it now, and I’m proud of it too. It grew a perfect little human, who fills my days with love and happiness now. The female body never fails to amaze me with what it’s capable of to be honest. I may now be 4-5 stone over weight now, but it was most definitely worth it. I just hope and pray that I get to do it all again one day….

Aaaagh, feeling all teary eyed now!! Pathetic I know. That’s just me though.

Spent a lot of today sleeping, I think my daughter was catching up from the past few days to be honest. She totally crashed out last night, bless her, she did wake around 1.30am, and took a little while to settle her again, but that was the only wake up thankfully. The night before she was awake nearly every hour! So I was glad of the rest today.

Not much planned for the weekend to be honest, hubby is working tomorrow morning until 1pm, then we’re just going to chill out hopefully. Then Sunday I’ve got an appointment for an eye test. Apart from that, nothing else planned. Hopefully some nice family time can be had.

Anyway, that’s pretty much it from me tonight, got a bit of a headache so going to read for a while I think. TTFN.


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