It is what it is;

I wasn’t going to bother blogging tonight, as I’ve got fuck all to say really.
Today has been mostly spent in bed, luckily my daughter had a lay in and then later a long nap, so I joined her. I feel like absolute trash, and nearly passed out earlier. Felt really light headed and weird. Grabbed a sugary drink and crisis averted, but have felt rough all day.

I’m not sure if it’s mother nature or meds withdrawals, or a combo of both. Whatever it is though, needs to swiftly bugger off. I was just starting to feel good and happy, and now this has knocked me back down and I’m a grumpy mare again. Ugh.

Thinking of my friend today as well, going through something truly devastating. I really feel for her and just wish I had the words to say to her to her, but I just don’t. Life is just so unfair sometimes.

I’m seeing my GP tomorrow for the first time; all my psychiatric letters have been going to her, so it’s about time I met her I suppose. Fingers crossed she’s a nice doc and I can get things sorted with my meds. Think I said yesterday, that the pharmacy hadn’t got my repeat prescription, so tonight is my last night of medication. Not an ideal situation. Really to come off completely I did to reduce to 100mg, then 50mg, then perhaps stop. Coming off from 200mg is going to suck. Already noticed the effects from going from 400mg to 200mg. Mentally I’m fine, no adverse affects really, but physically I feel sick, tired and light headed. So I really do need to wean off more gradually. Seriously cannot wait to be off them though. I’m going to be one of these awkward patients I reckon though, as no doubt they’ll want to replace it with something and I’m going to refuse. Am sick and tired of pumping the toxic shit into my body. I’ve had nothing but side effects from all types of medication I’ve been on. My body has had enough. Meds may work for some, but for me, they just make the situation worse. Have been on various meds over the years, and haven’t ever been 100% well on any of them. So it’s time to cruise solo for a while and see what happens….

Anyway, that’s pretty much it for today, I was going to talk about something else, but I frankly can’t be arsed now. I’m tired, grouchy and just need to chill. TTFN.


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