Seriously pissed off right now.
Someone who should know me better, just said I put cigarettes before my daughter! What the actual fuck?! Nothing, I repeat, NOTHING, comes before my daughter. She is my #1 priority and has all she needs before I even contemplate anything for myself. I would never buy a pack of smokes instead of formula, or nappies, or food for her. NEVER. The thought wouldn’t even cross my mind!!!! Fuck sake.
Yes we’re struggling financially. But my daughter has EVERYTHING she could possibly need right now. I’ve made sure of that. I always do.
We were talking about quitting smoking, as we were running out and have no money. But, as long as I don’t go batshit crazy with my smokes tomorrow, they’ll last until the weekend when we’ve got some money coming in. How is that putting them before my daughter?!
Grrrrr. I feel like I’m constantly judged or criticised on my parenting skills, and it’s not fair. I do my fucking best, and I have happy, healthy child to show for it. So I must be doing something right?! I already feel shitty right now, so I don’t need that kind of negativity being thrown at me as well. I’m not a perfect parent, but then who is?! Obviously these people who constantly have a pop at me are though. It’s not the first time it’s happened today, and probably won’t be the last. But people need to back the fuck off right now, because I will bite back, and it won’t be pretty. I’m such a moody bitch right now, that I’ll speak before I think. Pretty much like this entire blog post….
I feel like shit mentally and physically right now, and don’t need the aggro. My meds are fucking me over something chronic, I’ve got crippling stomach pains right now, feel sick, tired and generally fed up to the back teeth with everything. Literally the only things keeping me going right now are my daughter and my husband. Without them, I’d be gone. There’d be no point in sticking around.