Going down, down, down….

As the evening has gone on, my mood has declined…. not 100% sure why though. It’s been so good the last couple of days, I’ve been full of energy and really happy and content. But tonight, not so much at all. I should be happy, it’s my birthday tomorrow, but I’m dreading it. Hubby couldn’t get the day off work, so it’ll just be the same old, ordinary day. I don’t mind spending it with my daughter of course, my first birthday as a mummy and all that jazz. But would of loved a lay in and some help looking after her.

Ah well. The weekend should be good, as we’re decorating her room and putting her cot together. Eek! I’m still really reluctant to let her go into her own room just yet, I get proper separation anxiety…. it’s not good. She should of gone in at 6 months really, but here we are, 7 months and she’s still in with us in her next2me crib. I just love waking up and seeing her there, I’d feel lost without her.

So yeah, I have zero plans for my birthday. Doubt many people will even remember it, and if they do it’ll just be because Facebook tells them it is. ^sad face^

I hate spiralling down in mood, truly sucks.

And there was me, only this morning, saying to a friend of mine, that I thought the new medication was levelling me out at last. Perhaps I spoke too soon. Oops.

I’m missing my granddad a lot too today; it’s his birthday on the 18th. So it’s always a hard time for me. I wish he was here to meet his great granddaughter; he would of adored her.

I’m also missing my best friend too; she would of loved my daughter as well. She would of also dragged me out the house for my birthday too. Although that said, I do have plans to pop out tomorrow, to deliver an Avon brochure and buy myself a cake. Apart from that though, I’ll just be sat at home, same old story.

Any way, I think that’s enough moaning and whining for one day. Gonna listen to some music and chill out for a while before bed. Night all.


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