Sunday Blues

I fucking hate Sundays. It means Monday is coming and hubby goes back to work. I dread being left alone all day with our daughter. What if I can’t cope?? It terrifies me. With my new medication all I want to do is sleep. It’s awful. I’m so so tired. Exhausted in fact. Literally nothing left in me. 

Bit by bit I’m losing the will to live. I keep thinking about overdosing and it’s horrible in my head. I keep planning my opportunities to do it. Then those opportunities never come. Something always happens and things change so I don’t get the time I’d planned. Perhaps it’s God’s intervention because he does t want me yet. Let’s face it, who does want me. No one. 

My head is banging, and I just really want to curl up in bed and sleep. But I’ve got things to do. Like laundry and washing up. Fun eh. And a grumpy baby to contend with as well. Nearly her bedtime, so hopefully she’ll go down well tonight. 



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