Been back to see my psych again today; she’s changed my meds again. And is thinking about introducing another one too. Argh.
So, now the plan for the Quetiapine is:
- Day 1 – 2 x 50mg
- Day 2 – 2 x 100mg
- Day 3 – 2 x 200mg
- Day 4 onwards – 2 x 200mg. So 400mg daily.
Plus, remaining on 5mg of Aripiprazole daily as well. But still coming off the Sertraline. She’s talking about introducing another mood stabiliser to the mix as well, Lamotragine.
So I’ll be rattling at this rate with all the meds I’m taking.
She also mentioned getting the home treatment team in to see me as well, because of the suicidal ideations. I gave her my “poems” that I wrote yesterday as well, and she was concerned about the voice/s. It’s hard to explain it so writing it down and showing her was a lot easier than trying to in the appointment.
I’m seeing her again next Wednesday. And probably on a weekly or even twice weekly basis until the north team take over my care. I’m scared of changing over but at the same time it’ll be a relief to see someone new. My current psych has been, in all honesty, rather useless up until now. It’s typical how we start to get on and then I’m changing though….
Never mind. Sometimes change is good. It’s a bit unsettling though regarding mental health issues. As for me, I like continuity and routine. So seeing someone different is taking me out of that comfort zone and having to make another bond/relationship with someone is hard for me. But, am trying to look at it positively. Although that is hard at the moment.
I’m still up and down like a yo-yo at the moment. There’s points where I’m okay, then I crash or go really energised and hyper. It’s a horrible state to be in, I hate it. Never knowing how I’ll be from one minute to the next is like some form of torture. Truly sucks.
But, there’s a part of me, no matter how small it is right now, that knows it’ll pass. I just have to focus on that and hope to be well again soon. It’s a rocky road, but it’ll be worth it. I hope.