Crash and Burn

Well, today has been a really low mood day; I managed to put on a brave face for a visit from my mother, but since then I’ve rapidly gone downhill. I’m exhausted from faking it all day to be honest. I just want to go to bed and hide under the duvet. Shut out the world and forget about things for a while. I’m done being an adult.

My e-mail to my psychiatrists boss has fallen on deaf ears it seems too. So I’m no further forward there either. I just want to see someone else and get help. I can’t go on like this for much longer. I’m ready to just give up. I’m barely eating, barely sleeping and barely talking to anyone too. I think the person that’s had the most conversation out of me is my daughter. And even that doesn’t make much sense of course.

She’s currently being a pain and not going to sleep, so I’m feeling really frustrated and starting to lose my temper a bit too. Not good.

I’ve got a pile of washing up to do as well and I really cannot be arsed. Really really just want to go to bed and sleep. But I know it’s pointless even going because my mind never switches off. My thoughts race at a million miles an hour. It’s ridiculous.

I go over things, again and again and again, and I can’t make it stop. I’m so done with being Bipolar now. Wish it would fuck off and leave me alone.

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